Update #3 from DC!

Hello All!

Life in DC has become one crazy ride… in many senses of the word. I still absolutely LOVE it here! I wish I would’ve posted last week; but ever since I began working on the Hill, I have had so much less spare time! Today was the first day in weeks that I got home before 6 p.m.

So, to pick up where my last update left off: My last week in the SFLA office was kind of sad, but fun. I really enjoyed working there every day. Wednesday (June 24) I worked on a lot of the same stuff in the office and it was also Rachana’s birthday (one of the SFLA interns) so we went out to dinner that evening. Thursday, the 25th we got to meet up with Congressman Spencer Bachus of Alabama. Due to Congress being in session that day, our meeting was interrupted twice because of voting. So, we talked briefly, got a picture and left. Friday after work, all of the SFLA interns went out to see The Stoning of Soraya M., from the producers of The Passion of the Christ. It was an extremely powerful film. The movie tells the story of Soraya M. and the injustice that took place. It is extremely relevant in light of recent events in Iran. I highly recommend seeing it. It was only playing in select theatres when we saw it, but I’m hoping it will be more widespread in the coming days. Also, while we were walking out of the movie… somewhat emotionally drained… we ran into former senator Rick Santorum! It was pretty cool – we talked to him a bit, got a picture and left. We later went to dinner and discussed the film… at least those of us who were able. It was a fairly hard film to watch and absorb.

On Saturday one of the SFLA staffers (Lucy) took us to Great Falls for an incredible hike. It was a beautiful day and we ended up running into other pro-life interns on our hike! We saw some interns from the National Right to Life and heard that there were also interns from another organization walking around. I guess it was just the day to hike. Sunday, the 28th was our day off – we just relaxed and…….. slept in! (Aaaamazing) Later that evening, Kate and I went to visit my friend, Rich, who lives just down the road from our host mom’s house. We had a fun game night and met some new people. It was a nice end to a very eventful weekend.

Monday the 29th was my last “official day” at the SFLA office. I was very sad, yet excited to start something new. Monday nights are now volunteer nights at the office and that night we stuffed envelopes while watching 22 Weeks, another extremely powerful film. This one was a short film – but very difficult to watch nonetheless. I advise caution with both movies that I have mentioned. They are good, but powerful. (It was quite a lot to take in within a few days time.)

Tuesday began my internship in Congressman Paul Broun’s office (of GA)! I was quite nervous, but the staffers are so great! Congress was not in session due to the holiday, so I eased into the swing of things. It probably was a bit less overwhelming than if they had been in session my first few days. But, I did get to go on a Capitol tour to learn about it, so that was exciting.

I got my intern badge on Wednesday and got to learn more about the office – sorting mail, answering phones, etc, etc. In the evening I had the privilege of going to listen to Grover Norquist, the President of Americans for Tax Reform. He was a very humorous and interesting speaker. I was very happy to learn so much about the organization.

Thursday was a lot of the same – learning more about the office and whatnot. Sadly, it was the last day of the other intern in the office, she was very nice and fun to work with. That night I went to go see the movie “Away We Go” with John Krasinski. It was a bit disappointing… I don’t normally like movies that are that crude. It had some good messages, but the crudeness kind of overpowered the message for me.

Friday we had the day off on the Hill due to the holiday, so many of the other SFLA interns went to the SFLA office to work for the day. Later that night we all went to Screen on the Green for a second time in Rosslyn. They play movies from the 80s and that night they played Top Gun. They also have a bean bag contest with 10 winners. I won! On my first try too, haha. It was kind of cool, I got a t-shirt with “I love the 80s” on it and the movie schedule on the back.

The 4th of July in Washington D.C. is incredible. Saturday morning we met with the other SFLA interns on the National Mall. The Smithsonian Folklife Festival is an annual thing that celebrates many different cultures on the 4th. After the festival, we watched the fireworks and enjoyed Independence Day in DC… quite an experience.

Sunday, once again was our day off to just relax and recuperate. Monday began my second week on the Hill. This time, I was the only intern in the office – so I was truly tested!

Tuesday we got a new intern. So, I got to help train him and ‘show him the ropes.’ It felt good to actually know what I was doing and be able to help someone else out. That evening I went to see a film called 33 minutes: Protecting America in the New Missile Age, another one that I highly recommend. After the film, there was a presentation and discussion. I recommend checking out the website to learn more about it.

Yesterday was my last day at the office this week. I got to visit the Capitol a few times, learn where some of the offices were and found myself giving directions to passers by… wasn’t sure when that day was going to come! In the evening I found out about a “small” (100+) gathering of interns for AIPAC’s Summer Seminar Series. I didn’t discover until I arrived that John McCain was to be there! It was interesting hearing him speak about Israel, Iran and other critical Middle East issues. The event was closed to the press.

Today I went to the Eagle Forum Collegians Leadership Summit. There were many congressional speakers and discussions. It was a full day of learning, no doubt! I enjoyed it a great deal, especially the discussion on nationalized healthcare. This is a big concern of mine that I hope to address in a future post. I have been doing extensive research on the topic and suggest that others do the same. Hopefully in the coming days I will put together some of what I have learned and pass that on to all of you. Tomorrow will be the second day of the summit and I am excited to see what I will learn!

The more I think about my time here in D.C., the more I believe that I could work here a year from now. I am going to stay open and take every possible opportunity! This internship has been so thrilling and such a learning experience. I can’t wait to see what is still yet to come. I hope all is well back home.

For Life!

Sheri

DC Internship Weeks 2&3

Hello Everyone!

I apologize for not writing earlier. SO much has happened since I last posted.

The remainder of my first week in the office was a lot of the same - projects and whatnot. But, I love what I do! Over the weekend we went to Rosslyn to watch The Breakfast Club on the lawn which was a lot of fun. Then on Saturday I was able to visit Mt. Vernon with the other interns and staff - which was incredible! I had so much fun walking around the plantation and visiting Washington's Mansion. We had an interesting encounter with one of the actors on the plantation. He was an intriguing fellow from Scotland. :) After our visit on Saturday we took a walk in Old Town Alexandria.

On Sunday most of us interns went to the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. It was Corpus Christi Sunday and they had a gorgeous procession. I loved Mass... after Mass we went to have lunch/dinner at the Capitol Brewery outside which concluded our weekend... so much fun!

My second week was very hectic (which is the reason I was unable to write to you all....). Monday and Tuesday I was in the office doing the same old same old :). Then Wednesday was.... fun... haha. I got to drive to work in the morning which is always interesting. DC traffic... I don't know how I would describe it. Let's just say - it's always an adventure. I stayed at work for half the day, then I drove to Winchester, VA to meet up with Kristan (my boss) in order to leave for NC to attend the National Right to Life Conference. Once I met up with Kristan we drove with her baby, Gunner and her mom for 6-7ish hours to Charlotte. The drive seemed to go by quicker than expected. We arrived at the Blake hotel around 9:30pm or so. The conference was excellent. I got to work the booth for Students for Life of America - and meet LOTS of new people from all over the US! I had the privilidge of having dinner with Fr. Frank Pavone and Wesley Smith the second night we were there. It was great... so wonderful to meet all these people that are making such an influence in the pro-life movement! For those of you who don't know - Fr. Frank Pavone is the Director of Priests for Life and Wesley Smith is big into Bioethics, Eugenics and Euthanasia. Two very prominent people in the pro-life movement. Throughout the conference I got to introduce some to SFLA, explain the organization and what we could offer students. We successfully found 10+ groups that needed help... which was very exciting! The third night we were there we had dinner with 20+ students from all over the US to discuss and network. It was a good time. Saturday we stayed for half the day and left around noon to head back to VA. The whole trip was incredible and an experience that I will fondly remember.

For the remainder of the weekend (aka - Sunday) I went with several of the interns to the International Spy Museum... I LOVED it! We did the brief tour and are considering going back for the interactive tour. After the Spy Museum we went to the Nationals Baseball game which was thuroughly enjoyable... I think the highlight for me was when Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Roosevelt raced around the field. The game itself was moderately disappointing as the Nats lost to Toledo 9-4. However - the company of the staff and interns was great! I am loving the people here... we have all bonded so much and I truly enjoy spending time with all of them. After the Nats game, some of us went to Mass at St. Mary's in Chinatown. It was a very solumn Mass with no singing. It was peaceful and a good end to the day.

Yesterday was my first day back in the office since the NRL conference in NC. I did a lot of catching up and trying to do as much as possible. Then... as some of you may have heard - there was a very horrific, deadly metro crash. Praise God I was still at work when it happened. The crash was on the red line - the line I take every day to and from work. The crash happened at approximately 5 p.m. We found out in our office between 5:05 and 5:10. This crash is said to be the deadliest in DC metro history. You can read about it here. So, please, if you would - pray for all those involved and affected by the crash. The death toll is up to 7. The injured number is continually rising. I had a 2.5 hour commute this morning, as opposed to my normal 1 hour commute. I have never seen the metro so overloaded... It is such a sad day in DC. But, thank goodness for all the very dedicated metro workers. They have been working so hard and have made traveling go as smoothly as possible. I have also noticed that those commuting have seemed to embrace a more caring and sympathetic attitude during this tragic time. It will be a rough week in DC. Once again, please pray for the injured and all those involved.

I will try to keep on a weekly update - I hope all is well. Thank you for all your continued support. This internship is truly one of the best experiences of my life thus far. Take care.

For Life,

Sheri

Week 1 in D.C.

It has been quite hectic ever since I arrived in D.C. a week ago today. So, here is my first update!

I first arrived in Wheaton, MD to my host family’s house last Wednesday night. It was a very long drive, but the hours seemed shorter than expected. Fortunately, I didn’t run into any serious traffic issues, though a great deal of construction. As I was stuck in a traffic jam at one point, I was listening to Family Life Radio. It was a morning program and they were talking about some positive pro-life efforts. I was happy to hear so many good things about the pro-life movement on air. So, I decided to call in. I wasn’t expecting to be put on air; I merely wanted to thank them. However, after speaking with them, I heard the interview aired about 10 minutes after I hung up the phone. I was pretty excited.

Once I arrived in MD I had a good amount of time to settle in and get to know my host mom, Doris Gordon. She started Libertarians for Life and has quite a story! I recommend you visit her website at: www.L4L.org. There are many interesting articles on there that would be very beneficial to read.

I had a nice opportunity to visit with an old friend Thursday night and we watched the Red Wings game. Hopefully it won’t be a one time thing in the coming weeks!

My roommate, Kate, arrived Saturday night. It had rained the first few days I was there, so I was anxious to get out of the house. So, I ventured out with Kate and her friend, John who lives right off of Capitol Hill. It was a fun night on the town.

Sunday truly began the craziness of the week. Kate and I went to noon Mass at one of the local parishes: St. John the Baptist Catholic Church. To our surprise, it was a graduation Mass for the parish school 8th grade class. So, that was an interesting experience… J Later that evening we went to the SFLA (Students for Life of America) BBQ in Arlington at the SFLA office courtyard. We had the privilege of meeting many of the people we would be working with: the SFLA staff, the other interns and some of the staffers from Feminists for Life and some other organizations.

Monday was our first day “on the job.” We did not venture out to our respective offices, but instead met up at the SFLA office for training. We had some very… rigorous… training for the first half of the day. In the afternoon we went to Capitol Hill for the Conservative Leadership Seminar at the Capitol Building. There were some very interesting speakers such as Bay Buchanan, Congressman John Shadegg and Liz Cheney. While the final speech was being given, a Capitol police officer entered the room. He began looking around for the person in charge and told us all to evacuate the building immediately. He gave us no reason, just that we all had to leave right then. We later found out that there was a suspicious package in the entrance of the building. After our evacuation we went out to dinner at an Italian Bistro several blocks from Capitol Hill. It was a quaint, privately owned restaurant. It was a fun, but exhausting first day.

Tuesday began our internship rotations. I start out with SFLA for the first three weeks. Two other interns start at that office with me while the other interns are at places such as the Susan B. Anthony List, Feminists for Life, and Congressional Offices on Capitol Hill. My first day I worked on several different projects, learned a lot and felt very productive! We then went to dinner at a pizzeria in the Ballston Mall. It was a lot of fun.

Today was my second day working in the SFLA office. I continued some of my projects from yesterday and had a great opportunity to be interviewed on National Pro-Life Radio. I also got to go to another speaker event from noon until 1pm. Professor Mike Novak spoke about Social Justice – its roots and how society has skewed the meaning to conform it to a liberal society. He referenced the encyclical “Rerum Novarum” by Pope Leo XIII. He also referenced Pope John Paul II on Social Justice. It was overall a great talk and I’m very glad I took my lunch break (and then some) to go listen to him. The rest of the day at the office went smoothly and I went out for dinner with the two other interns that work with me in the SFLA office, Rachana and Billy.

Overall it has been a good first week in Washington. I have not gotten lost on the metro. I have accidentally gotten off early on the bus… but I learned from that right away. I have gotten lost walking through D.C. twice, but quickly found my way – either by asking a random stranger or calling a friend… once again, I learned very quickly from that and won’t be making the same mistake twice. I am learning my way around D.C. and am starting to truly settle in. I now have the confidence that if God ever ends up calling me to live here, I wouldn’t be too upset about it. J I am really looking forward to all that D.C. has to offer this summer. Intern seminars, speaker events and dinners pop up all the time. My weeks are steadily becoming very busy, but I certainly don’t mind! This weekend I may be a bit of a tourist and visit Mount Vernon, the Spy Museum and the Basilica. That is my agenda so far… which is of course always subject to change – as is life in D.C.! One thing I find quite humorous though is that I have acquired the ability to decipher the tourist from the resident. It seems that if you are wearing a t-shirt and jeans on any weekday – most times you are deemed a tourist… I have never seen so many people in business clothes in one city – myself included, haha.

Now, with that, I think I should probably head off to bed. It will be another long day at the office tomorrow! Tomorrow night is our SFLA volunteer night, so we’ll be there until at least 9 p.m. I will try to send out updates at least once a week. I hope all is well back home!

For LIFE!

Sheri

Epiphany

So, last night I prayed the sorrowful mysteries of the Rosary. Immediately thereafter I fell asleep. I then had this crazy dream... I don't remember all of it - but the main thing I do remember is that I was being chased by wolves. This morning I was sitting down at breakfast sipping my coffee and this thought just popped into my head. I, of course, am no dream-interpreter... however, it is almost as if this dream was a sort of metaphor, if you will, for where I am currently at in my life. I am in Washington D.C.... not the "safest" place for most people... especially if you are pro-life and actively working for the movement. The imagery came across to me as "I am being fed to the wolves" or "I am fighting the wolves of abortion." It was an interesting thought... This is one of the greatest wars of our time. Yet, some don't even recognize it as a battle. I am here to stand, to fight and to show that many people DO care. I am here to demonstrate the ideals and moral values that I believe this country was built. Every human life deserves a chance to live. How is it possible that some people still do not understand that it is bluntly obvious when life begins? It begins at conception - the reason being, alongside many others, is that a new, growing, developing life starts at the moment of conception. A sperm cannot grow into a human being on its own. An egg cannot grow into a human being on its own. However, once the egg is fertilized by the sperm, it becomes a zygote and develops - oh so rapidly - into a living, breathing human being. I believe the debate circles around "when does life begin" way too much. Science can show when life begins. The real question should be - when does the life deserve to live?

If you look at our Declaration of Independence, it says a great deal:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

Unalienable rights? What does this mean? This simply means that these rights cannot be given OR taken away. They are simply regarded as rights that any and every human being is endowed... not by man, no... but by their Creator. In many cases this means God. This is not necessarily to bring about a discussion of whether or not God exists - but to explain that every human being has these rights, whether or not they are stated by another. Now, to explain further, there is a difference between having these rights and having a "right to" these rights. A man who chooses to murder another, for example, has given up his rights to liberty. He chose to inflict on another person's right to life, therefore he shall be put in jail. Choices we make in life will certainly have an effect on what rights you will have a "right to have." As I have said in the past... not all freedoms are awarded to those who bear ignorance. If you do something stupid, there will be a consequence. I must credit a lot of this reflection to Doris Gordon, Founder of Libertarians for Life. I had a good conversation with her the other day about this... you should read some of her writings. Her website can be found here: www.L4L.org.

So much happening...

I just got back from a wonderful time camping this weekend. It was so nice to just get away, relax and not be on any kind of schedule.

However... now that I am home... I keep thinking about the last few years and other previous camping trips. One in particular was in July of 2006. I had the privilege of going with a few of my closest friends - one of them being Aaron. I will never forget that trip. It was the last time I got to see him as I want to remember him. He was joyful, spirited and fully living his life without hospitals, chemo... and seemed to be pain-free, if only for that one weekend.

I just came to the realization that I have not had the guts to visit his grave yet. It's almost like complete confirmation that he is gone. It has been nearly three years and I still find it difficult to accept that he is no longer here. I think of him often... I pray for him.... I hope that I will find the strength to visit his grave... it is something that I need to do... truly... I need to do it.

I leave for D.C. in a little over a week.... wow. I prayed about this internship, I hoped for it... and now it is almost here. I am getting very excited as it draws near. I feel like this will give me a tremendous opportunity to see if this is truly the direction God is sending me to work. I hope it is.... hopefully doors will open and job opportunities will arise and God will guide my decision. Praise God for such incredible opportunities.... God is good.

Wow

I just came to the realization that in 4 weeks and 3 days I will be in Washington D.C.

Wow.

It's funny because I have known that I was going for a while now... but it is just now becoming more real. I don't know if I can put my excitement into words.

This opportunity is something that I have only dreamed about. Who knew it would actually be happening? I am going to D.C. to work for the pro-life movement. Ahhh!

God is so good.

This isn't really related, but is totally worth sharing... I have been reading the book "Captivating." It has become one of my favorite books. I wish everyone had the opportunity to read it. It truly speaks mountains of truth regarding relationships between men and women. There are so, sooooo many sections of the book I would love to pass on. It took me a bit to get started on it just because I don't take enough time out to read - but once I finally did... wow. Once again, SO worth it.

Something that it speaks volumes about is the idea of loneliness. It is the root of many problems between men and women. It often drives a desire in us to seek out another person. Some people can't control that desire... they just keep searching and searching. This does not always allow God to step in to guide the individual. Sometimes it is best to just sit back and not see every person of the opposite sex as another "potential candidate" to date. I suppose this is putting it a bit harshly - but really... it is true. Many of us are guilty of this. I know I have been.

Honestly, the most important thing is to pray. If you find yourself on a constant search... don't worry - it is not intrinsically bad. It's just that you need to give God some room too. Don't try to push your plans on God... pray to be guided by His Will for your life. Pray that you will choose to follow His way... nothing but goodness can come of it. God is a loving Father that wants for you to be happy. There may be struggles along the way, but it is a learning process and we cannot expect the journey to be easy.

The meaning of "Yes"

Did my 'yes' mean anything?

When you can't say 'no,' what does 'yes' mean? What value does it hold?

So many times in my life I have found myself in situations where I couldn't resist and just had to say yes. It was possible to say no, but I chose not to. However, in the same breath, there were times that - because of potential hurt to another person - I could not say no. Does this mean I had no choice?

This idea goes far beyond what one would think.

Every time I hear the question, "If you can't say no, what does your yes mean?" I think of Theology of the Body - when Christopher West poses the question in reference to the inability of the general populace to say no to sex.

However... as I have just said - this question goes far beyond Theology of the Body. This question could be applied to many occurrences in everyday life.

This question has made me consider many of the "decisions" I have made in the past. How can they be decisions if there were no options? A decision is defined as an inference of a selection of choices...

This is about all I have for tonight... er... this morning... ha.

Spiritual Drought

There are times when I find no matter how hard I try, I keep falling. My focus is blurred and priorities have faded. The point is mute and locating a path becomes more difficult than it's worth.

I want to find my way back. Back to the relationship that meant so much. I want to be tested. I want to know that my efforts are worth something. Life keeps tossing obstacle after obstacle my way and instead of them making me stronger, they lead me astray. This challenge has become a mountain I am too weak to climb. Who knows where God is leading me. All I know is if I don't make a motion to change, I won't like where I end up.

I don't know how long it's been, but I feel like I'm just drifting. Some days I feel like I'm just there. I'm just existing to exist. I haven't pushed for more. I haven't worked to better myself. I'm tired of the apathetic feeling.

I know there are dry spells in everyone's faith journey. I suppose this must be mine.

I need a renewed hope. I need a spiritual jump start. Clearly what I have been doing has not worked. I have failed in many ways to be there for those who need it. I became preoccupied with my own problems and gave up opportunity to help others. I want this to change. I have not been myself. I have thwarted opportunities to make a real difference. This IS going to change.

I don't want to show anything but a genuine smile. To speak philosophically, I want to achieve Aristotelian happiness. In all honesty, it is a sort of "achievement" to reach that point. Thankfully, with Christ all things are possible. (So to summarize Philippians 4:13... my favorite verse.)

Jumping back on the horse

I haven't blogged in an extremely long time. So, here we are again.

It is Advent and I am loving every minute. In past years I seemed to look to Christmas more so than pay attention when I am IN the season of Advent. Advent is a very special time in the Church year. It is the beginning, a fresh start. It truly is the month of Mary. A celebration of her "YES." I feel that after engulfing myself in practices that I only touched the surface of previously, Advent has so much more meaning. I am participating in what's called 'Advent Angels' or 'Spiritual Secret Santa.' (Nice alliteration there...) Through this practice, I have paid far more attention to making prayer a part of my daily life. I tried before, but I cannot say that I really focused EVERY SINGLE DAY with some kind of prayer. I am also taking part in using an Advent Wreath. It seems to be such a simple concept - but, really, it has helped me so much. I just love the symbolism of so many things in the Catholic Church. We are now almost to the 3rd week of Advent... and Gaudete Sunday!

My last exam is at 10 a.m. Thursday. I will have more time to write over break. Maybe I'll even pull out some poetry, who knows. I haven't written in a while, so, bear with me!

Happy Advent!

Mourning

One year ago today, a very close friend of mine passed away. I still don't feel as if he is gone. I'm wondering if I ever will. I hope and pray he is up in Heaven, though I still miss him dearly. I still have not had the guts to visit his grave... I was going to do that today, but it didn't work out. How does one acquire a sense of closure? I went to the viewing and his funeral... but it didn't seem entirely real. I feel like I haven't let it all out yet. I sobbed at his funeral and have cried several times since then... however, I still feel like I have been holding something back. Even when I cried at his funeral, something in me suppressed some of the emotion. Until I completely let go of him... I will not be OK. It is something that has to happen, but when? I still can't believe it's been an entire year without him around... it seems like just yesterday I was in Traverse City with him on our camping trip... or tubing down a snow hill.... or laughing until our sides hurt at a friend's house... how can he be gone? My mind doesn't want to comprehend this. My mind won't allow me to comprehend this. I know Aaron would want life to go on and for us not to be sad... but I can't help it. I miss him so much.

Chalk for Life!

It's Respect Life month and Students for Life of CMU are making sure that everyone is aware. On Sunday, October 21, 25 students chalked 4,000 hearts around Central Michigan's campus. These hearts represent the 4,000 lives lost every day in the United States alone from abortion. The main goal of chalking is to create greater awareness and provoke thought regarding abortion. Among the hearts were quotes and statistics. Some examples include:

"Any country that accepts abortion is the poorest of the poor" – Mother Theresa

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you live as you wish" – Mother Theresa

"Everyone who supported slavery was free. Everyone who supports abortion was born. That's how oppression works." – Anonymous

“If you can read this your weren’t aborted. Call your Mom today and thank her!” - Anonymous

“A person’s a person no matter how small.” – Dr. Seuss

Oh yeah... I do have a blog

So, I've realized that I pretty much forgot I had this blog. Only until recently when Jeremy created a blog on this site for the pilgrims from CMU going to WYD 2008.... of which I'm EXTREMELY excited for! God has been so good to me. He has brought some amazing people into my life that have helped me through some rough times. I feel like this past year at CMU has helped me tremendously in coming closer to God. I never knew how wonderful it could be to have such a personal relationship with the Lord. Now, a new step... a new beginning... and a brand new journey. Making the decision to go to Sydney for WYD was a big leap. But I took it... and there's no looking back. Praise God! :)

Happiness

I have discovered that the more I pray, the happier I become. My prayer life has gotten better, so in turn, my life has gotten better. God truly does listen. I wish I would have come to this realization a lot earlier. I am very happy right now... everything seems to be going in the right direction... towards God. I am living my life fully for Jesus and am working toward a better relationship with Him. Oh if I could only share this happiness I feel with more people... I pray that God will show me how to accomplish this.

Time for change

I've decided that there needs to be some changes in my life. It needs to be far more God centered. I need to focus on the Lord more than myself.... and I need to focus more on helping others than helping myself. BUT, the one thing I need to correct most in my life is to make stronger my relationship with my Lord, Jesus Christ. I have felt the times that I have drifted away and I adore the times I become closer. It's time for a change and that time is NOW.

Here we go again :)

Well, I've discovered that it has been an extremely long time since I have updated this blog. All the way back in October.... wow. Aaron has passed away. I still can't say anything other than passed away.... it's still not completely real. I miss him so much. He is in a better place and out of pain, but I still miss him. I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever completely realize that he is gone. Cancer is such a horrible thing. I don't understand it... why does it kill only a select number of people? Why was Aaron the one that had to go?

I will probably never understand God's ways. He has a plan that I wish I knew more about. I feel like some days I'm just there... no real goal in sight, just living to be alive. I feel like I have grown tremendously close to God in the past few months and expanded in my faith. I'm very intrigued to discover what God has in store for me. I want to know what is going to happen in my life, what the next step is that I should take. Where do I go from here? My main question that I would just like to throw out there into oblivion is this: What is my vocation???? I wish that God would reveal this to me more than anything. I shall dwell on this in prayer.

Good and Bad.....

There are good new happenings and bad new happenings... good have to do with school and bad have to do with people.

Good: I aced my Journalism quiz and did quite well on my Calc exam and Leadership exam.

Bad: Aaron is almost gone.

I don't know why this is so hard to accept. I have known for over a year that he would be gone soon. I don't think I ever realized what "gone" actually means. Gone.... as in, not alive anymore, not here on Earth, not with us, gone. The good of the bad is that Aaron will not be in pain anymore, he will be freed of suffering and anything bad in this natural life. He will be in Heaven where I yearn to be... if only... if only...

It's so odd... this feeling... I feel like I want to praise God for freeing Aaron of his torture and yet I am unbelievably sad. I know Aaron will be in a better place, but I will miss him so. Every time I think about it, a tear comes to my eye... I just wish that this whole waiting process would be over and Aaron would no longer be in pain and yet I don't want him gone. I'm sick of this mixture of feelings... I wish I didn't think about it so much.

Much love to you Aaron. ♥

Life at Central

The first several weeks here at Central have been interesting. Not all great, not all horrible, but for the most part, decent. I've gotten a chance to join a few different groups around campus, get to know countless different people and have a lot of fun. My classes are going okay... they could be better. I guess college is harder than high school after all. :) Anyway... I'm really loving dorm life, I feel so free and able to do whatever I want, when I want. It's kind of great. I went to a concert this weekend with Jeff, Jason and Mariah and that was pretty awesome. I've been introduced to such a variety of music since I've been here and I've really like a lot of it. I've been testing the staying up past 3am thing and well I don't think I'm going to continue doing that several nights in a row... doesn't work too well. Even if I do sleep in... it just feels weird and my schedule gets thrown off. But yeah, I've already been sick once... this past week... but thank goodness I'm finally over my cold! I still have a tiny cough and a sometimes runny nose but for the most part, I'm feeling a lot better. Well I'm still waiting on a response from someone... that is one thing that I absolutely despise about not talking to people in person... it takes FOREVER to hear back when you write a letter... and for a highly impatient person, that is not a good thing. Anyway.... that's about all I have for today, I may post another fun audioblog thing sometime soon... we'll see what happens.

Expectations have far been exceeded

College... my new home. I have already gained a few shreads of maturity from living away from home for two weeks. It sure is different, but great. I have had so much fun getting to know everyone, hanging out all the time, getting interesting classes and doing, pretty much whatever I want. It's a weird feeling... but I think I like it. Some things are more difficult, as expected, but for the most part, everything has been better than I thought. I think I'm really going to enjoy all of my classes, my professors seem really nice and the subjects seem interesting. My worries have pretty much disappeared and been replaced with glee. :-) I am home.... visiting... right now..... weird to say that. Visiting... not living... visiting. I think that's something I can get used to though. :-) Well I guess I better go spend some time with the family while I can, I'll write again soon!

It's official

I have packed my first few bags. I am officially nearly almost ready to move in. Yeah.... I'm super excited to move in, yet.... not quite ready. It seems as if this week could not possibly go any slower but at the same time, I kind of want it to.... in an odd sort of way. I guess I just am getting a little nervous about how my roommates and I are going to get along, I mean, when we talked on the phone and such we seemed to get along fine, but then again, that's not living together. Honestly, I think it will be fine, but I guess those thoughts are just in the back of my mind. I'm just so glad that I don't have to work at Kmart anymore, for a long time at least... I might possibly work on breaks and such, but that's about the extent of it. Kmart wasn't a horrible job, but it wasn't large amounts of fun either. Well, we're down to one day and a half before move-in... don't you ever wish you could just give time a shove?