Life, Love and Acceptance

It seems that when big things happen in my life, I am sure to become reflective. I begin to wonder how some of these things came to happen in my life and what could possibly come next.

My life has always been a series of roller-coasters. Some are fun and some make me throw up in the end. But, they all have varieties of twists, turns, loops and most have a very specific end. Some, however, take you in circles with (seemingly) no end in sight.

So many times in my life, I have been ungrateful for the blessings that have been bestowed on me. These times incur most often when I am blind to what I have been blessed with. It certainly seems to be an easy trap to fall into.

In the past several years of my life, I have learned what the concept of true love could be; though not in the sense that most people take it. I have endured the loss of a loved one. I have had my faith tried in trust, understanding and hope. I have given up on things that... I always thought I could accomplish.

However...

Through these trials and failures, I have learned a great deal. When I despaired, God gave me a reason to regain hope. When I became impatient for one thing, God surprised me with an even better plan than the first. When I thought trust was lost, truth brought about justice.

I realize that much of this is abstract. It is difficult to narrow down how God has worked in my life. The best way I can describe my experience is to sum it up with these words: my journey through life has, thus far, given me a chance to acquire the patience necessary to recognize God's loving will, and embrace it with a trusting acceptance that reaches beyond anything I could have imagined.

Contemplations

I started going through really old emails today- this got me thinking about how much I have changed in the last 5 years. I could hardly believe how different I was such a short time ago. It's amazing how fast people can grow up... My perspective, outlook and priorities have become so different than they were back then.

I used to be preoccupied with being 'liked'... now, I would rather be respected. I used to think I needed attention from guys... now, I am confident in who I am. I used to avoid confrontation like the plague... now, I am ready to face what is to come. I used to be obsessed with perfection in school... now, hahahah... uhm, I'm not. :) I used to sacrifice sleep consistently for school- I now realize sleep is far more valuable to stay sane and healthy. I used to stay only in my comfort zone within a specific social realm of people- now, I have knocked that wall down and opened up a bit. I was never much of a risk taker... now, I have taken leaps of faith that I never would've fathomed. (Like planning to go on World Youth Day in Australia by fund raising... haha) I have realized that completely laying your heart on the line is not always a good idea. I have learned that things may not go your way, but that doesn't mean they're not headed in the right direction. I have discovered that when you are standing for something that matters, life has a heck of a lot more meaning. Small losses don't even compete with the satisfying gains of self-fulfillment. These things are only the start of where my mind travelled today...