Mourning

One year ago today, a very close friend of mine passed away. I still don't feel as if he is gone. I'm wondering if I ever will. I hope and pray he is up in Heaven, though I still miss him dearly. I still have not had the guts to visit his grave... I was going to do that today, but it didn't work out. How does one acquire a sense of closure? I went to the viewing and his funeral... but it didn't seem entirely real. I feel like I haven't let it all out yet. I sobbed at his funeral and have cried several times since then... however, I still feel like I have been holding something back. Even when I cried at his funeral, something in me suppressed some of the emotion. Until I completely let go of him... I will not be OK. It is something that has to happen, but when? I still can't believe it's been an entire year without him around... it seems like just yesterday I was in Traverse City with him on our camping trip... or tubing down a snow hill.... or laughing until our sides hurt at a friend's house... how can he be gone? My mind doesn't want to comprehend this. My mind won't allow me to comprehend this. I know Aaron would want life to go on and for us not to be sad... but I can't help it. I miss him so much.

Chalk for Life!

It's Respect Life month and Students for Life of CMU are making sure that everyone is aware. On Sunday, October 21, 25 students chalked 4,000 hearts around Central Michigan's campus. These hearts represent the 4,000 lives lost every day in the United States alone from abortion. The main goal of chalking is to create greater awareness and provoke thought regarding abortion. Among the hearts were quotes and statistics. Some examples include:

"Any country that accepts abortion is the poorest of the poor" – Mother Theresa

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you live as you wish" – Mother Theresa

"Everyone who supported slavery was free. Everyone who supports abortion was born. That's how oppression works." – Anonymous

“If you can read this your weren’t aborted. Call your Mom today and thank her!” - Anonymous

“A person’s a person no matter how small.” – Dr. Seuss

Oh yeah... I do have a blog

So, I've realized that I pretty much forgot I had this blog. Only until recently when Jeremy created a blog on this site for the pilgrims from CMU going to WYD 2008.... of which I'm EXTREMELY excited for! God has been so good to me. He has brought some amazing people into my life that have helped me through some rough times. I feel like this past year at CMU has helped me tremendously in coming closer to God. I never knew how wonderful it could be to have such a personal relationship with the Lord. Now, a new step... a new beginning... and a brand new journey. Making the decision to go to Sydney for WYD was a big leap. But I took it... and there's no looking back. Praise God! :)

Happiness

I have discovered that the more I pray, the happier I become. My prayer life has gotten better, so in turn, my life has gotten better. God truly does listen. I wish I would have come to this realization a lot earlier. I am very happy right now... everything seems to be going in the right direction... towards God. I am living my life fully for Jesus and am working toward a better relationship with Him. Oh if I could only share this happiness I feel with more people... I pray that God will show me how to accomplish this.

Time for change

I've decided that there needs to be some changes in my life. It needs to be far more God centered. I need to focus on the Lord more than myself.... and I need to focus more on helping others than helping myself. BUT, the one thing I need to correct most in my life is to make stronger my relationship with my Lord, Jesus Christ. I have felt the times that I have drifted away and I adore the times I become closer. It's time for a change and that time is NOW.

Here we go again :)

Well, I've discovered that it has been an extremely long time since I have updated this blog. All the way back in October.... wow. Aaron has passed away. I still can't say anything other than passed away.... it's still not completely real. I miss him so much. He is in a better place and out of pain, but I still miss him. I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever completely realize that he is gone. Cancer is such a horrible thing. I don't understand it... why does it kill only a select number of people? Why was Aaron the one that had to go?

I will probably never understand God's ways. He has a plan that I wish I knew more about. I feel like some days I'm just there... no real goal in sight, just living to be alive. I feel like I have grown tremendously close to God in the past few months and expanded in my faith. I'm very intrigued to discover what God has in store for me. I want to know what is going to happen in my life, what the next step is that I should take. Where do I go from here? My main question that I would just like to throw out there into oblivion is this: What is my vocation???? I wish that God would reveal this to me more than anything. I shall dwell on this in prayer.