New Beginnings

In under a month, my life has done a 180. I went from a state uncertainty in nearly every aspect of my life to where I am now. I have an amazing full-time job, an apartment of my own and a bright future ahead of me. This is not to say I wasn't happy or trusting that through God's grace things would work out... only that I couldn't see any stability in my near future. Now, praise God, stability is unmistakably present and prominent.

My experiences in the last 4 months of my life are ones that I never expected, but would never take back. I enjoyed every challenge, every joy and every opportunity.

As I adjust to my new surroundings, I'm realizing that living alone may not be the worst thing ever (as I previously had imagined). I have been blessed with an opportunity to get to know myself and focus more on my work and my relationship with God. I can budget my own time, prioritize and more easily navigate my life to allow for greater efficiency. However, I am still learning the challenges of living by myself. I have to be more of a self-starter than ever. I have to push myself to keep my priorities in line and not lose track of where I spend my time and where keep my focus.

Last night I attended a wonderful young adults' group in the area. I realized that fellowship in the faith is undoubtedly something I cannot live without. There are reasons that "faith community" and other similar phrases are emphasized upon discussion of growing in the faith. Personal growth and reflection is definitely important -- but sharing that faith with others is essential as well.

The discussion last night also made me realize how much I need to keep intellectual reading and conversation a part of my life. Discussing philosophy and theology invigorates me and I really miss having classes and regular discussions on the topics. However, keeping up on pro-life literature and other books in my library will certainly help. =) All in all, life is good and is looking better all the time.

"Hooked on a Failing"

I've been reading Scott Hahn's "The Lamb's Supper." I think I'll have to read it at least one more time to truly take in all that it has to offer. I've gone over six months without some kind of course in philosophy, so this book is rejuvenating.

The section that really caught my eye and got me thinking is about 3/4 into the book. The sub-section is titled "Hooked on a Failing." It discusses humankind's failure to fully recognize sin for what it is.

Hahn depicts the process of sin, "We have an obligation, first, to resist temptation. If we fail then and we sin, we have an obligation to repent immediately. If we do not repent, then God lets us have our way: He allows us to experience the natural consequences of our sins, the illicit pleasures. If we still fail to repent--through self-denial and acts of penance--God allows us to continue to sin, thereby forming a habit, a vice, which darkens our intellect and weakens our will."

WHOA! I think I have re-read this paragraph at least 3 times. There is SO much truth here. Following this section, Hahn further explains how the most merciful thing God can do for us once we have formed a habit or a vice is allow a 'calamity' to occur:

"Sometimes, disaster means that that the world the sinners knew must fade away. But, as Jesus said, "What does it profit a man, to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?" (Mk 8:36). It's better to bid farewell to a world of sin than to be lost without hope of repentance."

This is certainly a lot to take in and divulge. Hahn has a brilliant way of laying it out that forces you to think about how it relates to your life. Reflecting on this is helping me to understand a little more about those who have fallen away from the faith. God does not cause these people to step away from Him. Every choice in life can bring you closer or further away from God. The more steps you take away from God, the easier it becomes to sin. Therefore, it is logical to comprehend why some people appear to sin so easily, while for others-- the same sin would give them tremendous pause. God's grace inhabits your very being and influences your daily decisions-- but ONLY if you let Him. This explains so much for me personally on why at certain points in my life, I had incredible difficulty with sin... it had everything to do with me being distant from God. It is so clear now in retrospect. God normally prefers the 2x4 effect with me, but this time, I think it was a lesson that needed to be learned gradually. :)

Latarae Sunday Reflections

Fr. Will gave an excellent homily at Mass today. He spoke about how we need to live our lives in such a way that allows God to reach beyond the surface. This needs to be reflected in how we relate to others.

I find this idea to be relevant to most everyone in this day and age. So many of us get caught up in surface-level communication... not allowing anyone to relate on a deeper level- because we realize subconsciously that it is safer. I know that I am definitely guilty of this. I put up walls and keep many people at a distance so as to keep from any kind of emotional pain. What is even more upsetting, is that this is also seeping into my relationship with God. I keep Him at a safe distance... close enough to feel like I'm relating with Him, yet far enough away to not let Him truly reach my heart. This is a difficult realization that I have come to... however, it seems that Lent is a perfect opportunity to remedy this problem.

I am going to take this Lent to help open my heart to deeper relationships with God and those around me. Fr. Will mentioned that modern technology has contributed to this issue- and it's so true. The ability to instant message, text message or use surface-level technology to "build relationships" with others is deceiving what we know to be an ordinary friendship. This is not to say that modern technology is intrinsically bad/evil by any means. This is merely to point out that we have allowed it to replace a lot of necessary person-to-person interaction that is needed for a solid relationship. It is more convenient and therefore a more common method of maintaining a relationship with another. It has also hindered our interactions with one-another when we are in-person. Conversations often fail to reach a deeper level and stay at the surface. It seems rare to have deep and meaningful conversations- reaching at Truth, truly getting to know someone, or revealing much of anything about a person. This doesn't apply to everyone of course, but it is definitely something to think about and consider.

Men: A Challenge for You

To all the men out there,

I have had several recent encounters that have compelled me to write this. There are some things in life that need to be mentioned and this is one of them.

In case you haven't heard: it is not flattering for women to hear comments about how "hott" she is. Yes, it is nice to be complimented on looks - however... there is a certain implication that comes along with a comment such as that.

Women need to hear that they are worth more than that. Men, this is a challenge for you. I challenge you to think about the way you look at and/or talk about women.

Do you see them as something for your visual pleasure? Do you see them as something that is there to satisfy your yearning for another?

OR

Do you respect women as people? Do you consider that perhaps, there is more beyond the surface and doesn't stop at looks alone?

This is not to say that men are the only ones guilty of this. As a woman, I know that we have fallen into this method of thinking as well. Men - you have the right to call women out on this too. These thoughts can really go both ways.

The point I am trying to focus on is this. There is a certain dignity and respect that EVERY person deserves. Even though it may seem harmless to call someone "hott" or something similar - superficial comments can cause scars. Let me explain further... take the following scenario:

All her life, Alice was complimented on looks. She went through life expecting people to notice how attractive she was. However, later in life - she discovered that all these comments left her feeling empty and yearning for more. Was this all she meant to people? What happens when she grows older and is no longer deemed attractive? This led her to obsess over her looks just to ensure that the comments continued. She did not fully realize the extent to which this damaged her outlook and those around her. Her friends may have gotten comments here and there - but nothing to the extent she did. This led to self-image issues all around. The obsession with looks took much of her time.

This story is sadly not far off of true scenarios. Society's obsession with looks has stemmed from the lack in respect of the dignity of the human person. This whole thing may sound a bit extreme - but sometimes, you have to expand more to make certain the point is understood.

To sum it up: Men, if there is someone that you care about in your life (or someone you would like to be in your life) - show her in a way that does not focus solely on looks. Yes, she does need to hear that she is beautiful - but, that comment needs to go beyond the surface. She can tell the difference between "you're beautiful" and "you're hott." I can guarantee you - any woman I know would much rather hear the former.

A great deal of what I discussed in here is mentioned in the book, 'Captivating.' (Or, possibly, 'Wild at Heart'... though I have not read that one.)

I hope this gives you something to think about and consider. It is not meant to be an attack - merely something to be made aware.

Reflections

I went to Theology on Tap today in Remus... which got me thinking about a lot of things that I seem to have been avoiding lately.

The speaker said some great things about what it is that God asks of us and how so many of the challenges we face lead us into what is only meant for us to do and nobody else. This made me think about so many of the challenges I've been faced with recently and how I've been handling them. I need to accept what is put before me as a gift, even if the task is difficult or involves suffering... I am the only person having this very experience. Every moment that I live - nobody else is given a moment like it. Every person's life is such a unique gift from God and even though it is exceedingly difficult to contemplate... nobody gets to experience the same thing.

Every challenge, every obstacle.... is an opportunity for you to grow closer to God. Just think of how much progress one could make with this attitude. I know that my life would be a heck of a lot easier if I could hold this as my own personal outlook on life. It's far easier said than done of course... like so many other things in life.

Some of the biggest challenges include taking a step forward - away from past failures and pains. I know that I often hang on to the past. It can be a good thing sometimes... but it usually is not. I only hope that I can move forward and keep the past in the past. I know I have a lot to look forward to in the future, but sometimes that vision gets clouded with the stress of the present. It's funny I say that now... being on winter break. I should be able to see clearly and be optimistic, but it seems that there are still things stopping me. I don't know if it's a subconscious pang or what... but, it's still just not that easy to think positively about many things in the future. There's so much crap in this world and it's hard to sift through it to get to where optimism can exist.

Thankfully, after this talk, it has given me a chance to be grateful and stop whining about annoyances. I am thankful for the opportunity to grow in love with God and move on from the everyday problems to new beginnings and a hopeful outlook.

The meaning of "Yes"

Did my 'yes' mean anything?

When you can't say 'no,' what does 'yes' mean? What value does it hold?

So many times in my life I have found myself in situations where I couldn't resist and just had to say yes. It was possible to say no, but I chose not to. However, in the same breath, there were times that - because of potential hurt to another person - I could not say no. Does this mean I had no choice?

This idea goes far beyond what one would think.

Every time I hear the question, "If you can't say no, what does your yes mean?" I think of Theology of the Body - when Christopher West poses the question in reference to the inability of the general populace to say no to sex.

However... as I have just said - this question goes far beyond Theology of the Body. This question could be applied to many occurrences in everyday life.

This question has made me consider many of the "decisions" I have made in the past. How can they be decisions if there were no options? A decision is defined as an inference of a selection of choices...

This is about all I have for tonight... er... this morning... ha.