God's Providence

I can't sleep, so I figured that I might as well write down what's running through my head.

I am in complete awe of God's loving mercy and incredible grace. I have had some of the biggest challenges of my life in the last 6 months. Yet, I still know that I am profoundly blessed by God's grace. Even through the struggles and the hardships - God has revealed His glory and brilliance.

I have always believed that the devil attacks those who strive to do God's work. The devil especially attacks those who are in close communion with God. I have always believed this to be true. However, after being exposed to the devil's attacks... I KNOW this to be true. I did believe before, but it has become SO real.

Ever since I began my new job, there have been ups and downs all throughout. I know that successes and failures will come and go all the time; but, knowing something doesn't always prepare you for living through it. I found myself allowng the rollercoaster of successes and failures to determine my emotional state. This is not healthy. So, lately, I have tried my best to detach myself from those works and keep in mind that I have been called here to do God's work to the best of my ability, and delight in that work, no matter what the outcome. This is quite a challenge, but worth the effort.

Amidst attempting to keep myself detached from particular outcomes - I am also trying to detach myself from being discouraged by major roadblocks along the way; and working to discover the positive side of these things.

Most recently - I have had relentless issues with my car. It's funny because, every time, I think to myself... oh wow, it definitely could be worse. I just hope and pray that if I keep saying this - it doesn't continue to get worse, haha. It started with my breaks rusting out in a parking lot and basically exploding break fluid all over the place. I had to get it towed and all that fixed. But, praise God it happened when (and where) it did - because I was headed on a 12 hour trip in just a few days. Next, my car gets backed into by another person. THANKFULLY, no severe damage was done, just a dented bumper. I may still look into getting it fixed. However, just today... my tire went flat. I knew I needed to get new tires and was planning to get them looked at soon - but apparently they really couldn't wait one more day. (The latest I was going to have them checked out was going to be Monday.) Once again, praise God it happened when (and where) it did. I was on my way to a (nearby) discussion group. Thanks be to God that my friends were able to help me out and this did not occur on my 4-5 hour trek back from Kansas City. My guardian angel certainly has a rough job and is doing it very well.

After all this (and more), I have learned so much. I have learned about myself, how I deal with things -- and more importantly, how I can better deal with things. If anything, all these transitions in my life are allowing me the opportunity to better myself. I'm discovering new ways to cope through the trials of life and methods to help enrich the opportunities laid before me. I have discovered that it is better to embrace the suffering granted to me instead of despairing in it. I have taken this time to better develop my spiritual, social, physical and emotional aspects of life. I'm on different levels with each one, of course; but am granted the opportunity to grow in each area. I am very blessed and for that I am thankful. Praise be to God.

Beauty and Romance

The title above may lead you to think along different lines than those I will be highlighting. I aim not to deceive you, but will discuss those that do have such intent.

I must first be honest; I have always been one of those girls that loves a good chick flick. I appreciate other films as well, but sometimes it's nice to have that "feel-good" romantic movie. It is something that I'm sure many women would also say is a statement of fact for them as well.

I recently engaged in a discussion about this very topic... and it (without my knowing) changed my perspective. I just watched the new release "Letters to Juliet." It is a very typical chick flick. (**SPOILER ALERT**) I put that alert just to be kind; however, it's kind of difficult to ruin a chick flick these days. When anyone sits down to watch one, the outcome is generally understood... which, 9 times out of 10 is why they are watched in the first place. This movie was about a girl who is engaged, goes on a "pre-honeymoon" (something of which I had never been aware of its existence...) to Barcelona wither her fiancé. The two of them end up spending barely any time together, realizing they are not meant to be together and the girl ends up finding the "love of her life" while helping another to do the same.

Now, to the deception... The conversation I referenced above was one, with a certain perspective, of high controversy. In the conversation, an analogy was made between romance novels/chick flicks and pornography. This was not a perfect analogy by any means, but certainly one worth taking the time to consider. Pornography is an attack on the dignity of the human person. One of my favorite quotes (which I, of course, fail to remember at the moment...) discusses how pornography doesn't show too much, but shows too little. The "too little" is obviously not referencing the physical. The beauty of the human person can be shown in a non-sexual way. Pornography emphasizes the sexual and takes away the humanity of the individual. The analogy took (just for this purpose) pornography as being a temptation for men... and compared it to romance novels/chick flicks to be a similar temptation for women. This analogy breaks down when you remember that pornography is evil at its root... whereas romance novels/chick flicks are not. However, both distort and misguide the beauty of the human person. Pornography does it in the way I have just described; romance novels/chick flicks do it in a different and, dare I say, an even more deceptive manner. These stories latch on to the female emotions and place desires and things to be desired in her mind. Women are always longing for that “prince charming” who is perfect in every way. These stories give women the criterion with which they can “measure up” their significant other. Sorry guys, but, the man is bound to fail.

What the women (and those who produce the films/stories) may or may not realize is that these desires for the perfect “one” is completely normal and legitimate. Don’t worry, I didn’t just contradict myself. This “One” is Jesus Christ Himself. While men and women both desire to be with Christ at their core… women do it in a very unique way. Because, as it says in the Ephesians 5, men are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church… and women are called to be subordinate to their husbands – as the Church is to Christ. This is a hefty task for both parties. At the same time, the woman must realize that her husband is not perfect. He can strive to be Christ-like, but cannot attain perfection. These films may not portray men as perfect, but they teach women to desire perfection and accept nothing less. This is dangerous. This causes women to create a “laundry list” of sorts for that perfect one. This list takes away the humanity of the individual just as pornography does. Once again, this is on a different level, but has some comparable factors.

Now, any time I watch romantic films/chick flicks, I really try to keep this in mind. This is not to deter women from ever watching these again. However, it is critical that you keep yourself at a safe emotional distance. Remember, you can always find happiness… but, happiness is not for “ever after”… it is something that you must work for and realize that only true happiness comes with God’s grace. I’ve heard many times from happily married couples that they must *choose* to love each other every day. The desire may not always be present, especially at the most difficult times! I hope this has given you something to seriously consider.

Sunday Reflections

I've been trying my best to be a little bit more reflective and analytical of what has happened in my life lately. I have had a massive swirl of changes that all occurred within a very short span of time. In all reality, I have been abundantly blessed. I need to learn more of how to appreciate that fact.

I'm realizing that every challenge that has been thrown in my direction has been an opportunity. When I recount my experience of first moving to where I am now... I am astounded at how God guided me through that journey. The first challenge was the incredibly long drive. I was fortunate to remember that two good friends live approximately halfway through the 10 hour drive. So, my sister and I stayed at their place and had a wonderful time catching up and spending some time with them. Many good things came from that decision. Then, once my sister and I got to my new apartment, I was given an opportunity to embrace patience with the staff of the complex... and perseverance in dealing with the humid 106 degree temperatures and the flight of stairs that stood between my 2 carloads of stuff and my new home. The challenges that immediately followed included time constraints, gate changes for my flight and a severe lack of sleep.

Even though it was a very time-pressed weekend moving in, I appreciate how God eased me into my new life. After that weekend, I spent a week of training in DC and met lots of great people. It gave me the mental and inspirational support I needed. Once the week was over, I was exhausted... but in a way that made me realize what was to come. It was only the beginning! I got back to my region and jumped in head-first. Started going off to schools, making meetings and appointments and working as hard as I could. My first week was not as productive as I had hoped. However, I was able to reflect, look at the mistakes I made along the way and work to improve.

The next challenges that came were a bit more unexpected. Dealing with a bit of loneliness and frustrations with those who disagreed with the work I do has been difficult. Fortunately I am slowly meeting people, found a great young adults' group and a small discussion group to attend. All the people are great and it's so good to be back sharing the faith with others. It is so important to have fellowship to help keep you on track and feel like you're not alone in this journey. I know the challenge of loneliness will fade with time, but I just need to get over the obstacle now and press on. Facing the opposition is a whole different story. It's necessary to learn strength and not let attacks touch you at such a personal level. That is one aspect I don't believe I prepared myself for very well. It will take some learning and strategy, but I know it can be overcome.

All in all, things are good... I just need to take these challenges and use them as opportunities like I previously stated. The only direction I can move is forward, the past is behind me and I only see better things lying ahead. For, "if the what you did yesterday still looks big to you, you haven't done much today."

Time Management 101

168.

That is an important number. Why? That is the number of hours you have this week to make the most of your time.

What is most important to you? With what do you spend most of your time? If the answer to these two questions isn't even comparatively similar, something is awry.

I just attended a talk this evening given by a very contemplative man, Mr. Harry Kraemer Jr. The topic was titled "Being Catholic in the Corporate World: Becoming a Values-Based Leader." However, I feel that the talk could've been more appropriately titled, "Values-Based Time Management 101." Mr. Kraemer held great passion behind everything he said and was incredibly engaging. He highlighted several things that must be taken into account when living a life comprised of so many factors. The key elements he pointed out that are necessary to live a successful life -- successful, that is, by one's own standards, not standards of others -- are as follows:

• Self-Reflection
• Balance
• True Self-Confidence
• Humility

I think the most thought-provoking thing he said was this: “If you’re not self-reflective, do you really know yourself? If not, then can you lead yourself? And if you can’t lead yourself, then how can you lead other people?”

This talk has given me a lot of things to reflect on and think about. Where DO I spend my time? When a day "flies by," what is that supposed to mean? It's easy to lose track of time when you're doing things that have no possible time-measurement. Good examples of these are TV, the internet, etc. Sometimes time can fly by and it's perfectly OK. However, we need to be watchful of where the majority of our time is being spent. I know that I am guilty of spending my time in areas of little significance. I don't always prioritize and I am aware that I need to work on that.

Another good example Mr. Kraemer mentioned is keeping track of where we place others on our "priority list." If you lose track of how many times someone who is important to you asks to spend some time together... that person may stop asking. You must reflect on the times you have felt the need to turn someone away or deny them your time. Was it really for something that took priority over that person or was it just inconveniencing you? I am by no means admitting that I am immune to doing this. In fact, I am sad to say -- upon reflection, I have done this many times.

Another thought from tonight that is worth contemplating is one that I will leave you with. Take the time to reflect and grow in evaluating where your time is spent. Mr. Kraemer put it very well:

"So many of us confuse activity with productivity -- are we truly being productive, or just active?"