I have had several recent encounters that have compelled me to write this. There are some things in life that need to be mentioned and this is one of them.
In case you haven't heard: it is not flattering for women to hear comments about how "hott" she is. Yes, it is nice to be complimented on looks - however... there is a certain implication that comes along with a comment such as that.
Women need to hear that they are worth more than that. Men, this is a challenge for you. I challenge you to think about the way you look at and/or talk about women.
Do you see them as something for your visual pleasure? Do you see them as something that is there to satisfy your yearning for another?
OR
Do you respect women as people? Do you consider that perhaps, there is more beyond the surface and doesn't stop at looks alone?
This is not to say that men are the only ones guilty of this. As a woman, I know that we have fallen into this method of thinking as well. Men - you have the right to call women out on this too. These thoughts can really go both ways.
The point I am trying to focus on is this. There is a certain dignity and respect that EVERY person deserves. Even though it may seem harmless to call someone "hott" or something similar - superficial comments can cause scars. Let me explain further... take the following scenario:
All her life, Alice was complimented on looks. She went through life expecting people to notice how attractive she was. However, later in life - she discovered that all these comments left her feeling empty and yearning for more. Was this all she meant to people? What happens when she grows older and is no longer deemed attractive? This led her to obsess over her looks just to ensure that the comments continued. She did not fully realize the extent to which this damaged her outlook and those around her. Her friends may have gotten comments here and there - but nothing to the extent she did. This led to self-image issues all around. The obsession with looks took much of her time.
This story is sadly not far off of true scenarios. Society's obsession with looks has stemmed from the lack in respect of the dignity of the human person. This whole thing may sound a bit extreme - but sometimes, you have to expand more to make certain the point is understood.
To sum it up: Men, if there is someone that you care about in your life (or someone you would like to be in your life) - show her in a way that does not focus solely on looks. Yes, she does need to hear that she is beautiful - but, that comment needs to go beyond the surface. She can tell the difference between "you're beautiful" and "you're hott." I can guarantee you - any woman I know would much rather hear the former.
A great deal of what I discussed in here is mentioned in the book, 'Captivating.' (Or, possibly, 'Wild at Heart'... though I have not read that one.)
I hope this gives you something to think about and consider. It is not meant to be an attack - merely something to be made aware.
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