After a Long Absence

Life has been such an adventure in recent months! I believe that I have adjusted well to my job with SFLA and finally feel more confident in what more I can do in this position. It's hard for me to believe that I have been living in St. Louis for nearly 6 months... wow, time flies! I have been so blessed - making great new friends along the way and learning SO much.

It's amazing how God works. The last couple of weeks were busy, tireless and jam-packed - but, ended with an incredibly successful weekend. All of the hard work paid off and 1,800 students were trained at the SFLA national conference; 6 brilliant pro-life leaders and organizations were given Life Prizes; thousands of students attended the first-ever national pro-life rally; and hundreds of thousands of pro-lifers marched in DC for the right to LIFE.

I can't wait to see what these next few months hold. I know there will be more adventures on the horizon and I can only hope that I will continue to have the faith to tackle whatever challenge comes up.

Life is good, the pro-life movement is making headway and the joy is contagious!

God's Providence

I can't sleep, so I figured that I might as well write down what's running through my head.

I am in complete awe of God's loving mercy and incredible grace. I have had some of the biggest challenges of my life in the last 6 months. Yet, I still know that I am profoundly blessed by God's grace. Even through the struggles and the hardships - God has revealed His glory and brilliance.

I have always believed that the devil attacks those who strive to do God's work. The devil especially attacks those who are in close communion with God. I have always believed this to be true. However, after being exposed to the devil's attacks... I KNOW this to be true. I did believe before, but it has become SO real.

Ever since I began my new job, there have been ups and downs all throughout. I know that successes and failures will come and go all the time; but, knowing something doesn't always prepare you for living through it. I found myself allowng the rollercoaster of successes and failures to determine my emotional state. This is not healthy. So, lately, I have tried my best to detach myself from those works and keep in mind that I have been called here to do God's work to the best of my ability, and delight in that work, no matter what the outcome. This is quite a challenge, but worth the effort.

Amidst attempting to keep myself detached from particular outcomes - I am also trying to detach myself from being discouraged by major roadblocks along the way; and working to discover the positive side of these things.

Most recently - I have had relentless issues with my car. It's funny because, every time, I think to myself... oh wow, it definitely could be worse. I just hope and pray that if I keep saying this - it doesn't continue to get worse, haha. It started with my breaks rusting out in a parking lot and basically exploding break fluid all over the place. I had to get it towed and all that fixed. But, praise God it happened when (and where) it did - because I was headed on a 12 hour trip in just a few days. Next, my car gets backed into by another person. THANKFULLY, no severe damage was done, just a dented bumper. I may still look into getting it fixed. However, just today... my tire went flat. I knew I needed to get new tires and was planning to get them looked at soon - but apparently they really couldn't wait one more day. (The latest I was going to have them checked out was going to be Monday.) Once again, praise God it happened when (and where) it did. I was on my way to a (nearby) discussion group. Thanks be to God that my friends were able to help me out and this did not occur on my 4-5 hour trek back from Kansas City. My guardian angel certainly has a rough job and is doing it very well.

After all this (and more), I have learned so much. I have learned about myself, how I deal with things -- and more importantly, how I can better deal with things. If anything, all these transitions in my life are allowing me the opportunity to better myself. I'm discovering new ways to cope through the trials of life and methods to help enrich the opportunities laid before me. I have discovered that it is better to embrace the suffering granted to me instead of despairing in it. I have taken this time to better develop my spiritual, social, physical and emotional aspects of life. I'm on different levels with each one, of course; but am granted the opportunity to grow in each area. I am very blessed and for that I am thankful. Praise be to God.

Priority

As defined by the Encarta World English Dictionary:

pri·or·i·ty [ prī áwrətee ]

1.     greatest importance: the state of having most importance or urgency

2.     somebody or something important: somebody or something that is ranked highly in terms of importance or urgency

3.     right of precedence: the right to be ranked above other

Now that we have an understanding of the word by definition... how would this word apply in someone's everyday life?

Americans live and breathe "priorities." But, have we ever really stopped to think about what measuring stick we're using to prioritize? I have recently undergone a lot of changes in my life, which have resulted in a great deal of re-thinking and re-organizing my priorities. I have to be honest, the way in which my priorities are listed are quite different than they might have appeared a year ago.

In today's Gospel, Jesus tells a parable of a rich man. This parable essentially discusses priorities. How we behave in this life does in fact have an impact on our next life. Where is God placed in the scheme of things?In the past several months that I have gone through so many transitions, it has sometimes been difficult for me to put God first. It's funny how the times you need Him most are the times you fail to seek Him. It has taken a decent amount of time, but I have finallly discovered some methods to avoid doing so. In order for me to put God first, I have to invite Him into my life more. He is a true Gentleman... He will not "intrude" without an invitation.

So, I began setting aside daily times to pray. It seems so simple, but in all actuality - it was difficult for me to do. Reason being, I had always "tried" to fit in times here and there and never really had a set time to pray. For my kind of personality, I need structure if I am going to remember to do something daily. Once I set this time aside and it became regular... it's amazing how much God has made a difference already. When I simply let Him into my life, things changed very quickly. I became happier. At times (when I first moved into my apartment) I felt lonely. Once I began daily prayer, the loneliness disappeared; this happened not only because God filled the void... but because He brought some wonderful people into my life.

As soon as I made God my first priority, everything else fell into place. My life is still busy and hectic, but it makes more sense and doesn't feel empty. Moving to a new place, starting a new job and leaving everything you know 600 miles behind you is a hefty task. I had no idea what I was initially getting myself into... but God did. He knew I would need Him. He knew what I could handle and carried me through the roughest times. I never want to feel as low as I did when I was first faced with all of these big life changes. I want to be armed with God behind me every step of the way. As I said, God is a Gentleman. So, He will always be there... you just have to invite Him to come closer and you will discover His abounding grace.

Beauty and Romance

The title above may lead you to think along different lines than those I will be highlighting. I aim not to deceive you, but will discuss those that do have such intent.

I must first be honest; I have always been one of those girls that loves a good chick flick. I appreciate other films as well, but sometimes it's nice to have that "feel-good" romantic movie. It is something that I'm sure many women would also say is a statement of fact for them as well.

I recently engaged in a discussion about this very topic... and it (without my knowing) changed my perspective. I just watched the new release "Letters to Juliet." It is a very typical chick flick. (**SPOILER ALERT**) I put that alert just to be kind; however, it's kind of difficult to ruin a chick flick these days. When anyone sits down to watch one, the outcome is generally understood... which, 9 times out of 10 is why they are watched in the first place. This movie was about a girl who is engaged, goes on a "pre-honeymoon" (something of which I had never been aware of its existence...) to Barcelona wither her fiancé. The two of them end up spending barely any time together, realizing they are not meant to be together and the girl ends up finding the "love of her life" while helping another to do the same.

Now, to the deception... The conversation I referenced above was one, with a certain perspective, of high controversy. In the conversation, an analogy was made between romance novels/chick flicks and pornography. This was not a perfect analogy by any means, but certainly one worth taking the time to consider. Pornography is an attack on the dignity of the human person. One of my favorite quotes (which I, of course, fail to remember at the moment...) discusses how pornography doesn't show too much, but shows too little. The "too little" is obviously not referencing the physical. The beauty of the human person can be shown in a non-sexual way. Pornography emphasizes the sexual and takes away the humanity of the individual. The analogy took (just for this purpose) pornography as being a temptation for men... and compared it to romance novels/chick flicks to be a similar temptation for women. This analogy breaks down when you remember that pornography is evil at its root... whereas romance novels/chick flicks are not. However, both distort and misguide the beauty of the human person. Pornography does it in the way I have just described; romance novels/chick flicks do it in a different and, dare I say, an even more deceptive manner. These stories latch on to the female emotions and place desires and things to be desired in her mind. Women are always longing for that “prince charming” who is perfect in every way. These stories give women the criterion with which they can “measure up” their significant other. Sorry guys, but, the man is bound to fail.

What the women (and those who produce the films/stories) may or may not realize is that these desires for the perfect “one” is completely normal and legitimate. Don’t worry, I didn’t just contradict myself. This “One” is Jesus Christ Himself. While men and women both desire to be with Christ at their core… women do it in a very unique way. Because, as it says in the Ephesians 5, men are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church… and women are called to be subordinate to their husbands – as the Church is to Christ. This is a hefty task for both parties. At the same time, the woman must realize that her husband is not perfect. He can strive to be Christ-like, but cannot attain perfection. These films may not portray men as perfect, but they teach women to desire perfection and accept nothing less. This is dangerous. This causes women to create a “laundry list” of sorts for that perfect one. This list takes away the humanity of the individual just as pornography does. Once again, this is on a different level, but has some comparable factors.

Now, any time I watch romantic films/chick flicks, I really try to keep this in mind. This is not to deter women from ever watching these again. However, it is critical that you keep yourself at a safe emotional distance. Remember, you can always find happiness… but, happiness is not for “ever after”… it is something that you must work for and realize that only true happiness comes with God’s grace. I’ve heard many times from happily married couples that they must *choose* to love each other every day. The desire may not always be present, especially at the most difficult times! I hope this has given you something to seriously consider.

A Journalist's Perspective on Sarah Palin

I have to be honest. Before this evening, I (along with much of the American population) was completely misguided into not thinking much of Sarah Palin's abilities. I am now 100% ashamed about that fact. Granted, I'm not so sure she should be the one to fill the GOP ticket for the 2012 presidential election -- but that is undoubtedly for other reasons than her "lack of ability." She is a powerful speaker. She is real, passionate and is way beyond the terrible label the media give her.

Sarah is dignified. She has a bold presence that is impossible to ignore. I had the pleasure of shaking her hand, along with about 10 others, out of the 1500 that were present for the Vitae fund raiser tonight. As a journalist, I fail to understand how one could still feel like a true journalist after tearing a woman like this apart. If any of these so-called "journalists" were actually present when she spoke to a crowd, and were honest about her impact -- we would never see the kind of coverage she has been given. I went to this event with a bias... and not one in her favor. I left with my eyes opened and I now see her for how she should be seen. I have gained so much respect for her after tonight's event. I greatly admire this woman who stands so strong when so many stand against her.

Her speech tonight was invigorating. She spoke about a number of things relating to the pro-life cause. She was real. I could tell that it wasn't a "show" to gain support. We were all there for one reason -- to join together as pro-lifers and inspire each other to do more in the movement. She did her part and shared with us all that she had been through with the challenges God has placed in her life. She talked about her daughter's struggle and how Bristol has used her personal difficulties to help others. Unlike how the media want to pummel Bristol, saying she is a hypocrite... Bristol is using her experiences to tell others how difficult it is and wants them to learn from her as an example of what could happen. Sarah mentioned her struggle with finding out her son had down's syndrome and truly "walking the walk" of accepting what God has put before her and standing strong. She talked about how she knows God doesn't give people more than they can handle and through faith -- she could face any challenge. She talked of what a joy her son is and how she knew as soon as she held him in her arms that she was ready.

I admire Sarah for being so honest about the experiences and challenges that have been placed on her family. Contrary to what the media tell the world, these challenges do not make her weak -- they make her (and her family) a solid example for how to pull through and trust in God. Whether it was Bristol's unplanned pregnancy or her son's diagnosis -- the Palin family stood together and supported each other. I feel blessed to have been at the Vitae event tonight. Not only did I meet some great people, but I learned what the media have covered up for so long -- the beauty and passion of Sarah Palin.

Sunday Reflections

I've been trying my best to be a little bit more reflective and analytical of what has happened in my life lately. I have had a massive swirl of changes that all occurred within a very short span of time. In all reality, I have been abundantly blessed. I need to learn more of how to appreciate that fact.

I'm realizing that every challenge that has been thrown in my direction has been an opportunity. When I recount my experience of first moving to where I am now... I am astounded at how God guided me through that journey. The first challenge was the incredibly long drive. I was fortunate to remember that two good friends live approximately halfway through the 10 hour drive. So, my sister and I stayed at their place and had a wonderful time catching up and spending some time with them. Many good things came from that decision. Then, once my sister and I got to my new apartment, I was given an opportunity to embrace patience with the staff of the complex... and perseverance in dealing with the humid 106 degree temperatures and the flight of stairs that stood between my 2 carloads of stuff and my new home. The challenges that immediately followed included time constraints, gate changes for my flight and a severe lack of sleep.

Even though it was a very time-pressed weekend moving in, I appreciate how God eased me into my new life. After that weekend, I spent a week of training in DC and met lots of great people. It gave me the mental and inspirational support I needed. Once the week was over, I was exhausted... but in a way that made me realize what was to come. It was only the beginning! I got back to my region and jumped in head-first. Started going off to schools, making meetings and appointments and working as hard as I could. My first week was not as productive as I had hoped. However, I was able to reflect, look at the mistakes I made along the way and work to improve.

The next challenges that came were a bit more unexpected. Dealing with a bit of loneliness and frustrations with those who disagreed with the work I do has been difficult. Fortunately I am slowly meeting people, found a great young adults' group and a small discussion group to attend. All the people are great and it's so good to be back sharing the faith with others. It is so important to have fellowship to help keep you on track and feel like you're not alone in this journey. I know the challenge of loneliness will fade with time, but I just need to get over the obstacle now and press on. Facing the opposition is a whole different story. It's necessary to learn strength and not let attacks touch you at such a personal level. That is one aspect I don't believe I prepared myself for very well. It will take some learning and strategy, but I know it can be overcome.

All in all, things are good... I just need to take these challenges and use them as opportunities like I previously stated. The only direction I can move is forward, the past is behind me and I only see better things lying ahead. For, "if the what you did yesterday still looks big to you, you haven't done much today."

New Beginnings

In under a month, my life has done a 180. I went from a state uncertainty in nearly every aspect of my life to where I am now. I have an amazing full-time job, an apartment of my own and a bright future ahead of me. This is not to say I wasn't happy or trusting that through God's grace things would work out... only that I couldn't see any stability in my near future. Now, praise God, stability is unmistakably present and prominent.

My experiences in the last 4 months of my life are ones that I never expected, but would never take back. I enjoyed every challenge, every joy and every opportunity.

As I adjust to my new surroundings, I'm realizing that living alone may not be the worst thing ever (as I previously had imagined). I have been blessed with an opportunity to get to know myself and focus more on my work and my relationship with God. I can budget my own time, prioritize and more easily navigate my life to allow for greater efficiency. However, I am still learning the challenges of living by myself. I have to be more of a self-starter than ever. I have to push myself to keep my priorities in line and not lose track of where I spend my time and where keep my focus.

Last night I attended a wonderful young adults' group in the area. I realized that fellowship in the faith is undoubtedly something I cannot live without. There are reasons that "faith community" and other similar phrases are emphasized upon discussion of growing in the faith. Personal growth and reflection is definitely important -- but sharing that faith with others is essential as well.

The discussion last night also made me realize how much I need to keep intellectual reading and conversation a part of my life. Discussing philosophy and theology invigorates me and I really miss having classes and regular discussions on the topics. However, keeping up on pro-life literature and other books in my library will certainly help. =) All in all, life is good and is looking better all the time.

Time Management 101

168.

That is an important number. Why? That is the number of hours you have this week to make the most of your time.

What is most important to you? With what do you spend most of your time? If the answer to these two questions isn't even comparatively similar, something is awry.

I just attended a talk this evening given by a very contemplative man, Mr. Harry Kraemer Jr. The topic was titled "Being Catholic in the Corporate World: Becoming a Values-Based Leader." However, I feel that the talk could've been more appropriately titled, "Values-Based Time Management 101." Mr. Kraemer held great passion behind everything he said and was incredibly engaging. He highlighted several things that must be taken into account when living a life comprised of so many factors. The key elements he pointed out that are necessary to live a successful life -- successful, that is, by one's own standards, not standards of others -- are as follows:

• Self-Reflection
• Balance
• True Self-Confidence
• Humility

I think the most thought-provoking thing he said was this: “If you’re not self-reflective, do you really know yourself? If not, then can you lead yourself? And if you can’t lead yourself, then how can you lead other people?”

This talk has given me a lot of things to reflect on and think about. Where DO I spend my time? When a day "flies by," what is that supposed to mean? It's easy to lose track of time when you're doing things that have no possible time-measurement. Good examples of these are TV, the internet, etc. Sometimes time can fly by and it's perfectly OK. However, we need to be watchful of where the majority of our time is being spent. I know that I am guilty of spending my time in areas of little significance. I don't always prioritize and I am aware that I need to work on that.

Another good example Mr. Kraemer mentioned is keeping track of where we place others on our "priority list." If you lose track of how many times someone who is important to you asks to spend some time together... that person may stop asking. You must reflect on the times you have felt the need to turn someone away or deny them your time. Was it really for something that took priority over that person or was it just inconveniencing you? I am by no means admitting that I am immune to doing this. In fact, I am sad to say -- upon reflection, I have done this many times.

Another thought from tonight that is worth contemplating is one that I will leave you with. Take the time to reflect and grow in evaluating where your time is spent. Mr. Kraemer put it very well:

"So many of us confuse activity with productivity -- are we truly being productive, or just active?"

God's Ever-Astounding Plan

God never fails to baffle me with his magnificent plan for my life. I can confidently admit that even the most difficult and trying times of the last few months have fallen into place with God's carefully articulated plan. As I go through all the struggles I have endured, I realize why each challenge was necessary and sit in amazement.

I think I can start with my very first few weeks in Chicago. My path to attain a Chicago Plus Card was one of the most grueling processes ever... I felt like I was being put to the ultimate test of patience. I won't bore you with all the details. Let's just say that after 2 weeks of having my card first stolen, failure to send a replacement, poor customer service, and delay upon delay -- I had finally become the owner of a Chicago Plus Card. Oh joy and joyness.

What I failed to even contemplate is that it was possible that something good was to come out of this experience. Thanks to the 2-week delay, I did in fact save money; as I am about to start a new job in 3 weeks, my monthly pass will end right on time. Praise God.

The second, seemingly never-ending, challenge I was faced with was finding somewhere to live after the end of my current sublease. This has a whole slew of problems and struggles attached. I first tried finding a full lease with a roommate -- that failed for several reasons and was the most trying of the struggles due to these issues that I won't go into. I then tried finding another sublease but was incredibly hesitant to sign any of the ones I found -- for reasons I later discovered...

This lesson was even more important than the first. I learned that God allowed me to go through these weeks of stress and some tears to discover what I needed to do. TRUST HIM. I thought I was trusting what God wanted me to do, but no, I had barely begun. Once I said I give up on forcing my plan into God's plan, everything fell together. If you have you ever heard the quote, "Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans," then you understand how I am feeling now. It is also incredibly true that hindsight is 20/20. When you look back on what has happened, you begin to understand why. It may never be crystal clear, but it usually makes more sense than it did at the time. Another aspect of this particular lesson was learning what to look for and what not to look for in an apartment in a big city. This lesson is so incredibly valuable... as I move to another big city and find a place to live in a mere 3 weeks!

Life has become a fast-paced roller-coaster; but, I'm ready with God's grace as my seatbelt securing me for the ride.

Rediscovering Beauty

I meant to write on this topic a long time ago and am hoping I remember all that I wanted to say... so, I may come back to it for further editing.

I've come to rediscover that everything has an innate beauty. This is a fact that I have been subconsciously aware of, but never truly thought about much. The more you look at something and concentrate on it-- the more you are able to realize the essence of beauty that it holds. Some beauty is more hidden and some is thrown in your face.

The root of all beauty is in God. The intention of true beauty is to call us closer to God Himself and permit growth in relationship with Him. There is a reason we strive to make ourselves and things around us visually appealing. We want to draw people in. Beauty is inviting and causes almost immediate interest. Why do you think there are industries dedicated to decor, fashion, architecture, art, music, design, etc... ?

What I'm getting at here is this. Striving to bring beauty into our lives and others' is incredibly important. Dullness should be avoided and driven away. We all know this at our core, and do indeed strive for it, but may not realize that we are doing it. However, something even more important than striving for beauty, is recognizing it. We need to appreciate it in our daily lives and realize that its foundation lies in God.

When I started thinking about this idea, I was sitting in the middle of downtown Chicago on the train. I began noticing the architecture, the design of the city, the people, the (seldom) nature... I became fascinated and in awe of the gifts God has given us to appreciate.

After noticing the beauty surrounding me, I started thinking about the fact that I, myself, was created in the image and likeness of God -- as are all my brothers and sisters in Christ. I have heard this fact countless times. But, when rediscovering something so incomprehensible... it's somewhat overwhelming. This made me consider how I and others try to capture that beauty in the manner of how we present ourselves. Am I living up to the expectations God has for me? Am I helping others to do the same? Do I embrace the beauty in others and truly recognize it? I could go on for hours with the thoughts that go along with this. I think I have to blame Mr. G.K. Chesterton for this one... he brought me back in touch with my love of philosophy. :)

Freedom

Ronald Reagan is one of my favorite presidents. He speaks an excellent point on the topic of freedom:

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free."

As does the Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI:

"True freedom blossoms when we turn away from the burden of sin, which clouds our perceptions and weakens our resolve, and find the source of our ultimate happiness in him who is infinite love, infinite freedom, infinite life."

It seems that much of our nation has forgotten what it means to have what we call freedom. Freedom is more than the ability to "do whatever you want." It is the ability to exercise the capacity to freely choose good. The Holy Father could not have spoken truer words. Sin is binding. The devil uses sin to cloud our minds and negatively influence our decisions.

You are never truly free until you detach yourself from the burden of sin. Think about it. If you think you are free but are unable to say no, is that freedom? This extends far beyond just sin. Are we free in America? Will it soon be illegal to not have healthcare? Is it illegal to take out student loans with anyone but the government?

Our freedom in America is slowly dying. I plan to help stop that from continuing. I love my country and on the day of its birth, I pledge to do whatever I can to preserve what this country was built on. I pledge to bring back the constitution and the principles our founding fathers believed in.

AND

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

And furthermore, I would like to share with you the end of the Declaration of Independence -- the document that was signed by 56 people 234 years ago:

"We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor."

We should all take the time to read over the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States on this day of our country's birth. We need to be reminded of what the flag stands for, what so many people have fought to defend and for what so many lives have been lost.

On this day, I am happy to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. I am PROUD to be an AMERICAN.

"Hooked on a Failing"

I've been reading Scott Hahn's "The Lamb's Supper." I think I'll have to read it at least one more time to truly take in all that it has to offer. I've gone over six months without some kind of course in philosophy, so this book is rejuvenating.

The section that really caught my eye and got me thinking is about 3/4 into the book. The sub-section is titled "Hooked on a Failing." It discusses humankind's failure to fully recognize sin for what it is.

Hahn depicts the process of sin, "We have an obligation, first, to resist temptation. If we fail then and we sin, we have an obligation to repent immediately. If we do not repent, then God lets us have our way: He allows us to experience the natural consequences of our sins, the illicit pleasures. If we still fail to repent--through self-denial and acts of penance--God allows us to continue to sin, thereby forming a habit, a vice, which darkens our intellect and weakens our will."

WHOA! I think I have re-read this paragraph at least 3 times. There is SO much truth here. Following this section, Hahn further explains how the most merciful thing God can do for us once we have formed a habit or a vice is allow a 'calamity' to occur:

"Sometimes, disaster means that that the world the sinners knew must fade away. But, as Jesus said, "What does it profit a man, to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?" (Mk 8:36). It's better to bid farewell to a world of sin than to be lost without hope of repentance."

This is certainly a lot to take in and divulge. Hahn has a brilliant way of laying it out that forces you to think about how it relates to your life. Reflecting on this is helping me to understand a little more about those who have fallen away from the faith. God does not cause these people to step away from Him. Every choice in life can bring you closer or further away from God. The more steps you take away from God, the easier it becomes to sin. Therefore, it is logical to comprehend why some people appear to sin so easily, while for others-- the same sin would give them tremendous pause. God's grace inhabits your very being and influences your daily decisions-- but ONLY if you let Him. This explains so much for me personally on why at certain points in my life, I had incredible difficulty with sin... it had everything to do with me being distant from God. It is so clear now in retrospect. God normally prefers the 2x4 effect with me, but this time, I think it was a lesson that needed to be learned gradually. :)

Discoveries

As I have taken more steps towards (what I feel) is my true purpose in life, I have discovered a great deal. I have learned on a deeper level what it takes to truly stand for something. Even as little as 3 weeks ago, I may not have found certain things in the political arena to be of high importance. However, now that I am fully living out my faith and beliefs- I have gained a greater understanding of what it means to do so. It is certainly not easy, but completely worth it.

Something else I have come to realize is quite scary. I have become aware of just how much the sacredness of God and the Holy Catholic Church have come under full attack. Never before has it been even remotely possible for such an extreme amount of blasphemes to be said in public. There are books, movies, TV shows, radio broadcasts, newspaper articles.... just about any form of public communication has partaken in some form of attack. Not all have been obvious or incredibly harmful. But, every attack makes way for another. One example that was brought to my attention is a new show coming out on Comedy Central. I don't know a lot about it, but from what I'm told-- it depicts Jesus as someone who is trying to break away from his "powerful but apathetic" father and winds up "finding himself" in New York. I really think that there is a difference between a good joke and an all-out mockery. I can laugh at jokes about my religion, but this show is way over the line.

Along the same lines of "blaspheming"-- I have come upon many organizations that pretend to be something they aren't. They try to represent something that is clearly-defined on its own... while making their own revisions. No matter what idea, religion or organization we are talking about, this is deception. If you don't understand something, go to the original source and discover its truth. For EXAMPLE... if you're going to run a "Catholic" organization, you better be ready to refer to the Bible, the Catechism and the hierarchy of the church for reference. I will admit that many people who run these organizations could be severely misguided under no fault of their own. As Catholics, it is our responsibility to show others the Truth. I know I am by nature a seeker of Truth. I think all humans have that natural inclination. Otherwise, we would all be completely disordered.

Lastly, my final thought for today-- logic and reason could save you and others from a lot of aggravation. I have been asked why I am Catholic. My constant reply will always be along the lines of this: I can find nothing more logically sound and filled with reason. Every question I have can be directed through prayer, logical reasoning and reference. If there is anything I have discovered about the Catholic faith, it's that if you are seeking Truth, you will find it in the Catholic Church. I do not mean this as an attack on those who are not Catholic-- I am only stating why I believe what I do. As my life goes through countless changes, I know that the only change within my faith will be an increase in strength.

God's Timing

It's truly incredible when you think about it. Sometimes it is difficult to have faith that everything will work out. But, if you open your heart to listen... God WILL speak to you.

I have had a significant amount of free time these past few days. It has given me time to relax, take pleasure in reading, watching movies, playing games and praying. Prayer is something that has become so central in my life. Ever since I started focusing more on prayer life, things really began to fall together... and at those times when I need it the most-- God brings me back and gives me the nourishment my spirit was thirsting for.

Today was a great example of this. I was praying evening prayer, and the reading could not have been more appropriate for me to hear at this point in my life. It is as follows:

Colossians 1:9b-11
"May you attain full knowledge of God's will through perfect wisdom and spiritual insight. Then you will lead a life worthy of the Lord and pleasing to him in every way. You will multiply good works of every sort and grow in the knowledge of God. By the might of his glory you will be endowed with the strength needed to stand fast, even to endure joyfully whatever may come."

God is AMAZING, isn't He?! I have just graduated from college, have moved to a new city and am about to start a new job... what better time than NOW to hear this passage?! God has given me SO much reassurance right when it is most needed. Any question or doubt that I am on the right path has been tossed out the window. I feel like my spiritual armor is on and I am ready to go out and fight the good fight. Ready or not, here I come!

Life, Love and Acceptance

It seems that when big things happen in my life, I am sure to become reflective. I begin to wonder how some of these things came to happen in my life and what could possibly come next.

My life has always been a series of roller-coasters. Some are fun and some make me throw up in the end. But, they all have varieties of twists, turns, loops and most have a very specific end. Some, however, take you in circles with (seemingly) no end in sight.

So many times in my life, I have been ungrateful for the blessings that have been bestowed on me. These times incur most often when I am blind to what I have been blessed with. It certainly seems to be an easy trap to fall into.

In the past several years of my life, I have learned what the concept of true love could be; though not in the sense that most people take it. I have endured the loss of a loved one. I have had my faith tried in trust, understanding and hope. I have given up on things that... I always thought I could accomplish.

However...

Through these trials and failures, I have learned a great deal. When I despaired, God gave me a reason to regain hope. When I became impatient for one thing, God surprised me with an even better plan than the first. When I thought trust was lost, truth brought about justice.

I realize that much of this is abstract. It is difficult to narrow down how God has worked in my life. The best way I can describe my experience is to sum it up with these words: my journey through life has, thus far, given me a chance to acquire the patience necessary to recognize God's loving will, and embrace it with a trusting acceptance that reaches beyond anything I could have imagined.

Contemplations

I started going through really old emails today- this got me thinking about how much I have changed in the last 5 years. I could hardly believe how different I was such a short time ago. It's amazing how fast people can grow up... My perspective, outlook and priorities have become so different than they were back then.

I used to be preoccupied with being 'liked'... now, I would rather be respected. I used to think I needed attention from guys... now, I am confident in who I am. I used to avoid confrontation like the plague... now, I am ready to face what is to come. I used to be obsessed with perfection in school... now, hahahah... uhm, I'm not. :) I used to sacrifice sleep consistently for school- I now realize sleep is far more valuable to stay sane and healthy. I used to stay only in my comfort zone within a specific social realm of people- now, I have knocked that wall down and opened up a bit. I was never much of a risk taker... now, I have taken leaps of faith that I never would've fathomed. (Like planning to go on World Youth Day in Australia by fund raising... haha) I have realized that completely laying your heart on the line is not always a good idea. I have learned that things may not go your way, but that doesn't mean they're not headed in the right direction. I have discovered that when you are standing for something that matters, life has a heck of a lot more meaning. Small losses don't even compete with the satisfying gains of self-fulfillment. These things are only the start of where my mind travelled today...

It's not over

After the initial shock of the passage of the healthcare bill, I tried to think logically and reasonably. Yes, I was still unbelievably upset and disappointed... however, what good does it do to merely be upset- that only makes it seem that nothing can be done.

Something CAN be done. Does anyone know what happens in November 2010? Yep, all the congressmen who voted in favor of this bill better be ready to face the consequences of their actions. The majority of the American people did NOT support this bill being passed. What is the job of our *REPRESENTATIVES* in Congress??? To *REPRESENT* the American majority. It seems to me, that is failing to happen.

Secondly, this bill is not set to go into effect until 2013. What does this mean? The next presidential election is also pivotal. The bill could likely be overturned if Republicans take back the House and a solid candidate is elected president. This could be a long shot... but, if the American people truly read up on what is actually in the bill- there could be more of a revolt than expected.

I would love the chance to understand what is going through the heads of political leaders. What happened to the America I know and love? What happened to a country built on freedoms of LIFE, LIBERTY and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS?? There are a few things that I carry around with me on a daily basis- among those things is a pocket Constitution and Declaration of Independence.

The Declaration of Independence states: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

I wrote something on this a while ago and it seems to definitely apply now:

Unalienable rights? What does this mean? This simply means that these rights cannot be given OR taken away. They are simply regarded as rights that any and every human being is endowed... not by man, no... but by their Creator. In many cases this means God. This is not necessarily to bring about a discussion of whether or not God exists - but to explain that every human being has these rights, whether or not they are stated by another. Now, to explain further, there is a difference between having these rights and having a "right to" these rights. A man who chooses to murder another, for example, has given up his rights to liberty. He chose to inflict on another person's right to life, therefore he shall be put in jail. Choices we make in life will certainly have an effect on what rights you will have a "right to have." As I have said in the past... not all freedoms are awarded to those who bear ignorance. If you do something stupid, there will be a consequence.

The referenced original post I previously wrote can be found here: http://lavidadesheri.blogspot.com/2009/06/epiphany.html ... or here: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=95966911244

I mention this because of the misguided reasoning of those endorsing nationalized healthcare. Will this help some people? Yes. Will it accomplish what it is SAID to accomplish? Most likely, NO. The government will be taking OUR tax dollars to pay for something that will minimally cover a great number of people and inflict on ALL of these aforementioned UNALIENABLE RIGHTS. This bill will also restrict care to those who are truly in need. All you need to do is reference countries who already have nationalized healthcare- are they better off? NO. Canada and England are two good examples. Life expectancy for people who have life-threatening disorders, diseases or conditions is DRAMATICALLY less than it has been in America. There are so many problems with this bill and I don't think I could even begin to describe them here... and I haven't even mentioned the problem that I fight for every day of my life- defending the life of the unborn. I am outraged and ready to take action. Whatever it takes, I will fight for the America that I know and love. I will fight for the right of every human being to have LIFE from conception to natural death, LIBERTY to live in a country of the free, and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS- so long as it does not impede another's God-given right to the same. I stand for what this country was built on and will NOT back down.

I will leave you with the words of Ronald Reagan:

"There are no easy answers' but there are simple answers. We must have the courage to do what we know is morally right."

Latarae Sunday Reflections

Fr. Will gave an excellent homily at Mass today. He spoke about how we need to live our lives in such a way that allows God to reach beyond the surface. This needs to be reflected in how we relate to others.

I find this idea to be relevant to most everyone in this day and age. So many of us get caught up in surface-level communication... not allowing anyone to relate on a deeper level- because we realize subconsciously that it is safer. I know that I am definitely guilty of this. I put up walls and keep many people at a distance so as to keep from any kind of emotional pain. What is even more upsetting, is that this is also seeping into my relationship with God. I keep Him at a safe distance... close enough to feel like I'm relating with Him, yet far enough away to not let Him truly reach my heart. This is a difficult realization that I have come to... however, it seems that Lent is a perfect opportunity to remedy this problem.

I am going to take this Lent to help open my heart to deeper relationships with God and those around me. Fr. Will mentioned that modern technology has contributed to this issue- and it's so true. The ability to instant message, text message or use surface-level technology to "build relationships" with others is deceiving what we know to be an ordinary friendship. This is not to say that modern technology is intrinsically bad/evil by any means. This is merely to point out that we have allowed it to replace a lot of necessary person-to-person interaction that is needed for a solid relationship. It is more convenient and therefore a more common method of maintaining a relationship with another. It has also hindered our interactions with one-another when we are in-person. Conversations often fail to reach a deeper level and stay at the surface. It seems rare to have deep and meaningful conversations- reaching at Truth, truly getting to know someone, or revealing much of anything about a person. This doesn't apply to everyone of course, but it is definitely something to think about and consider.

Meaning Behind the Song

This has happened before. I had a song stuck in my head and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get it out. Last time it was The Frey's "You Found Me." It made sense at the time why after I thought about it. Sometimes words and/or songs stick in your head for a reason.

The song that I currently cannot seem to get out of my head is Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dying." This song is catchy and has a good message. The lyrics are as follows:

Kris Allen - Live Like We’re Dying Lyrics

Sometimes we fall down and can’t get back up
We’re hiding behind skin that’s too tough
How come we don’t say I love you enough
Till it’s to late, it’s not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won’t come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we’re all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you
What would you wish you would’ve done

Yeah… gotta start
Lookin at the hand of the time we’ve been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
Every second counts on a clock that’s tickin’
Gotta live like we’re dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbyes
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution
There’ll no one on the line

Yeah… gotta start
Lookin at the hand of the time we’ve been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
Every second counts on a clock that’s tickin’
Gotta live like we’re dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

Like we’re dying oh - like we’re dying [x2]

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live - like we’re dying

We never know a good thing till it’s gone
You never see a crash until it’s head on
All those people right when we’re dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it’s gone

Yeah… gotta start
Lookin at the hand of the time we’ve been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start livin it
Every second counts on a clock that’s tickin’
Gotta live like we’re dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

Like we’re dying oh - like we’re dying [x2]

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying
Live like we’re dying

This song contains a lot of truth. We need to make sure to tell those you care for that you love them. Show them that you truly do care. How else can the knowledge be made known? Give life a chance... you have to take some risks. Yes, mistakes will be made - but that is how you learn. Don't let life pass you by. However, at the same time - don't be naïve... some risks are worth taking and some are not. Learn to judge the difference. Don't let past mistakes come between you and making amends. Time on earth is short, make it count and push yourself to be the best version of yourself. Don't limit what you can do, don't compare yourself thinking you can never be as good a person as so-and-so. Give yourself some credit and make steps to better yourself.... and guess what? We are in the perfect season for that. LENT! Take this Lent to pray and ask God how to become the person He wants you to be. It is never too late. Start now. Make it a good Lent. Think of what Jesus did for each one of us. He gave His life for the betterment of mankind. Can you not offer even a fraction of that? Devote even 10 minutes a day to improve your relationship with God. He will take whatever you have to offer. HE loves you and is not afraid to tell you. Let Him.

Ever-changing Life

Some days I get thinking about my future and one of two things happen. Either I get really excited about the countless possibilities OR I get scared out of my mind over the unknown that lies ahead. But, through this... I've discovered - the fear I sometimes feel - only brings me to question the decisions I am making now, working to make a difference every step of the way. I more carefully analyze where my life is headed and what I am doing to make things happen. How is my relationship with God strengthening my future? AND more importantly... how is what I am doing now strengthening my relationship with God? These are two questions that cause a great deal of consideration and thought.

With Lent quickly approaching... I see it as another incredible opportunity to grow in my life and relationship with God. Sacrificing something for Lent should not be as basic as it sounds. The point of giving something up is to bring you closer in your walk with God.... a way to develop your relationship and come to a better understanding of His Passion where He gave His life for us. I am carefully considering what way would best help me accomplish this. Lent has always been one of my favorite times of the year. It has always been a time of great reflection and spiritual growth. I pray that this Lent may be just as fruitful and thought-provoking as in the past.

God's love is overwhelming - a relationship is a bit of give and take... so, let God take hold of your heart as He gives you His.